“Belief in miracles, far from depending on an ignorance of the laws of nature, is only possible in so far as those laws are known. We have already seen that if you begin ruling out the supernatural you will perceive no miracles. We must now add that you will equally perceive no miracles until you believe that nature works according to regular laws. If you have not yet noticed that the sun always rises in the East you will see nothing miraculous about his rising one morning in the West.”
C.S. Lewis, Miracles
Friday, September 19th, I went in for an OB appointment I had to get my membranes stripped. My OB doesn’t like women going past 41 weeks so if I made it to my next appointment on Tuesday, September 23rd, we were going to set up an induction date. I was hoping having my membranes stripped would help me go into labor over the weekend and avoid being induced.
When I got there, my OB decided to do a nonstress test (NST) since I was already so close to my due date. A nonstress test is a common, noninvasive, prenatal test used to monitor the baby and make sure it’s not showing any signs of distress.
During my NST, which was perfect, she decided to do an ultrasound to confirm baby was head down so we could set up the induction that day instead of waiting until Tuesday. She said she likes to make sure the head is down via ultrasound before setting up any induction. I didn’t mind because I love seeing the little miss (and I wanted to get an estimate on her weight since Kevin was such a big baby).
During the ultrasound, the tech took a lot of pictures of our baby’s heart. They did a follow-up ultrasound when I was 24 weeks to check on a bright spot they were concerned about, so I was a little worried that she was taking as many pictures of it as she was. I asked if everything was okay and she said yes, but that my OB would come in to talk to me about the results in a few minutes.
My OB walked in, said she was glad they did the ultrasound, and informed me that they found extra fluid around the baby’s heart. I was told that not only did I need to head to the hospital as soon as possible to meet with a specialist, but that I would be being induced that night and, depending on the severity of the issue, would be delivering by emergency c-section.
I called my husband, told him he needed to pack his hospital bag, grab mine, and meet me at the hospital because something was wrong with our daughter’s heart. Then I sobbed, prayed, and yelled at rush-hour traffic the entire way to the hospital.
Kevin and I sat through a terrifying in-depth ultrasound at the hospital and waited for the specialist to show up which felt like an eternity. I was expecting the worst. I couldn’t stop crying. All I could think about was how I didn’t feel strong enough to lose another baby. I couldn’t do it.
Fortunately, the specialist, Dr. Kahn, brought nothing but better news. Our baby did (does) have extra fluid around her heart, but it’s at the high end of normal, nothing extreme. She said everything else about our baby looked perfectly healthy and normal.
Dr. Kahn told us I wouldn’t need an emergency c-section, but that they did want to keep me overnight to monitor our baby’s heart rate, and to induce me early Saturday morning.
I was told NICU staff members would be present at delivery, just in case, and that we would be having a fetal echocardiogram done 12-48 hrs after delivery, again, just to be safe. She also told me she approved of my OB’s decision to send me to the hospital because the extra fluid was a good catch and something that should be checked out (she must have sensed how upset I was over my OB’s reaction compared to hers).
During my NST, which was perfect, she decided to do an ultrasound to confirm baby was head down so we could set up the induction that day instead of waiting until Tuesday. She said she likes to make sure the head is down via ultrasound before setting up any induction. I didn’t mind because I love seeing the little miss (and I wanted to get an estimate on her weight since Kevin was such a big baby).
During the ultrasound, the tech took a lot of pictures of our baby’s heart. They did a follow-up ultrasound when I was 24 weeks to check on a bright spot they were concerned about, so I was a little worried that she was taking as many pictures of it as she was. I asked if everything was okay and she said yes, but that my OB would come in to talk to me about the results in a few minutes.
My OB walked in, said she was glad they did the ultrasound, and informed me that they found extra fluid around the baby’s heart. I was told that not only did I need to head to the hospital as soon as possible to meet with a specialist, but that I would be being induced that night and, depending on the severity of the issue, would be delivering by emergency c-section.
I called my husband, told him he needed to pack his hospital bag, grab mine, and meet me at the hospital because something was wrong with our daughter’s heart. Then I sobbed, prayed, and yelled at rush-hour traffic the entire way to the hospital.
Kevin and I sat through a terrifying in-depth ultrasound at the hospital and waited for the specialist to show up which felt like an eternity. I was expecting the worst. I couldn’t stop crying. All I could think about was how I didn’t feel strong enough to lose another baby. I couldn’t do it.
Fortunately, the specialist, Dr. Kahn, brought nothing but better news. Our baby did (does) have extra fluid around her heart, but it’s at the high end of normal, nothing extreme. She said everything else about our baby looked perfectly healthy and normal.
Dr. Kahn told us I wouldn’t need an emergency c-section, but that they did want to keep me overnight to monitor our baby’s heart rate, and to induce me early Saturday morning.
I was told NICU staff members would be present at delivery, just in case, and that we would be having a fetal echocardiogram done 12-48 hrs after delivery, again, just to be safe. She also told me she approved of my OB’s decision to send me to the hospital because the extra fluid was a good catch and something that should be checked out (she must have sensed how upset I was over my OB’s reaction compared to hers).
After our consultation, I went to my assigned room with Kevin and my mother-in-law, where I ate my last meal for a while before being hooked up everything.
I had the same devices they used for the NST strapped to my belly, and they started me on a super low dose of pitocin. The low dose wasn’t meant to induce me, but they did want it on to help prep me for my early morning induction. I didn’t feel anything contraction wise until about an hour before they got things started, but they just felt like period cramps in my lower back.
At 6:00am Saturday morning, my OB broke my water and my nurse upped the pitocin. She waited an hour or so, and then started to up it every 20 minutes.
I had wanted to try a natural birth, and for the first two and a half hours I thought I was actually going to be able to do it. I had practiced breathing techniques throughout my pregnancy and was using a visualization technique I had found that I liked.
During a contraction, I would close my eyes and “see” it as a water wave; rising, peaking, and falling again. I would picture myself surfing on the wave, or floating on my back, as it moved under me. I would breathe deeply and tell myself not to fight it as I would relax my whole body. Honestly, it worked amazingly well and I felt quite peaceful in the beginning.
Around 8:00am, the contractions started really picking up. It was harder to relax my whole body through the waves, but I was still okay. By 8:30am, I couldn’t relax my body at all through contractions and I could only repeat, “ride the wave” over and over again in my head. Not exactly peaceful anymore.
At 8:45am, I told myself I could make it until 9:00am before asking for the epidural and I let Kevin know I wasn’t going to be able to do a pain med free birth like I wanted. My nurse came in at 8:50am, and I asked for the epidural right then. I couldn’t make it until 9:00am.
I had the same devices they used for the NST strapped to my belly, and they started me on a super low dose of pitocin. The low dose wasn’t meant to induce me, but they did want it on to help prep me for my early morning induction. I didn’t feel anything contraction wise until about an hour before they got things started, but they just felt like period cramps in my lower back.
At 6:00am Saturday morning, my OB broke my water and my nurse upped the pitocin. She waited an hour or so, and then started to up it every 20 minutes.
I had wanted to try a natural birth, and for the first two and a half hours I thought I was actually going to be able to do it. I had practiced breathing techniques throughout my pregnancy and was using a visualization technique I had found that I liked.
During a contraction, I would close my eyes and “see” it as a water wave; rising, peaking, and falling again. I would picture myself surfing on the wave, or floating on my back, as it moved under me. I would breathe deeply and tell myself not to fight it as I would relax my whole body. Honestly, it worked amazingly well and I felt quite peaceful in the beginning.
Around 8:00am, the contractions started really picking up. It was harder to relax my whole body through the waves, but I was still okay. By 8:30am, I couldn’t relax my body at all through contractions and I could only repeat, “ride the wave” over and over again in my head. Not exactly peaceful anymore.
At 8:45am, I told myself I could make it until 9:00am before asking for the epidural and I let Kevin know I wasn’t going to be able to do a pain med free birth like I wanted. My nurse came in at 8:50am, and I asked for the epidural right then. I couldn’t make it until 9:00am.
Between that time, and the time it took for the anesthesiologists to show up (maybe 10 minutes), I started crying, shaking, and vocalizing through contractions. I also started feeling a lot of pressure down below. The contractions were hard, long, and almost back to back. It felt like another was starting before the last one had even finished ending.
Getting the epidural was a breeze. No pain, no headache, no blood pressure issues or having it drop to one side... It felt cold, then I started to feel warm, and slowly each contraction became more and more bearable until I was pain free.
Because of my previous symptoms, everyone thought I would be close to the end, but I was only dilated to a 5 (I started at 4).
Since my contractions were really close together and they were going to be short staff for a while, they turned off the pitocin and let me labor on my own. My contractions leveled off at about a minute and a half apart and I stayed there until about 1:00pm when they started spreading further apart.
At that point, the pitocin was turned back on and I was checked again to see where I was at. Only a 6! Even though I wasn’t in pain, I wanted to cry. I had made hardly any progress! I thought I was going to labor all day and into the next at the rate I was going.
Just as earlier, my nurse started upping the pitocin every 20 minutes. Around 1:30pm, I started feeling pressure which made me panic so I pushed the button I was given for more epidural magic. I was still feeling the pressure at 2:00pm so I let my nurse know. She checked me and I was fully dilated!
I asked if I could try pushing lightly when I felt the pressure because it felt good, but after doing a practice push with me, she told me I needed to wait until my OB showed up. My mom asked if something was wrong and the nurse said, “No, but if you push anymore I’ll be the one catching the baby.”
My OB showed up around 2:20pm and got the room ready (table, birth stuff, NICU people, etc), and we started pushing around 2:30pm. I pushed through 4 contractions to get her head out, waited a contraction or two until my OB told me to push again, and pushed one more time for the rest of her to come out.
When I got the epidural with Little Bear, I was super loopy and couldn’t feel a single thing from the waist down. With Sarai, I couldn’t feel anything from the waist down, and my blood pressure went crazy. I was worried something like that would happen again, but I could move my legs the whole time, no blood pressure problems, I was completely aware, and I felt the birth!
It was amazing (and really weird)! I could feel her head moving further down and stretching me, I could feel what’s called the ring of fire, I could feel when her head was fully out, and I could feel her shoulders and the rest of her slide out. There wasn’t any pain, only intense pressure. Because of the pressure, I even felt a rush of relief when it was all over!
I immediately started crying when I heard her cry, and then a tiny, sticky, vernix covered, purple body was placed on my chest, and I met my daughter face to face for the first time.
Miriam Renee Dolan (Miri, for short) was born 9.20.2014 at 2:42pm. She weighed 6lbs 150z, and is 19 ¼ inches of heaven on earth.
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Breastfeeding has been hard and painful, but not in the ways I expected.
I have not had any nipple or breast pain yet, but whenever I breastfeed, or Miri gets her face close to one of my boobs, I get really painful uterine contractions that feel just like labor. They’re even hard to breathe through. No fun.
I thought I would have a really difficult time with latching, but Miri is actually a champ at breastfeeding once we can wake her up enough to actually eat. I had no idea it would be so much work to wake a baby up to eat. I’m supposed to feed her every three hours until my milk supply is well established, but sometimes she just won’t have it. We have to take her diaper off and all clothes/blankets, tickle her tummy and feet, blow in her face (lightly, of course), tap underneath her chin, and wiggle my nipple in her mouth constantly to keep her awake most of the time, and even then, a lot of the times she sleeps through all of it!
The good thing is she loves my boobs. She loves holding them in her mouth, with her hands, or using them as pillows. They bring her immediate comfort which means I get lots of awesome cuddles.
None of this feels real. I am so in love with Miriam, but it hasn’t quite sunk in yet that she’s actually my daughter. Kevin and I are taking her home with us in less than 24hrs. Kevin and I are parents; mom and dad. Bizarre doesn’t even begin to explain how things feel right now, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
She is currently sleeping on Kevin’s chest as we wait for her next feeding session, and we’re laughing about how incredibly gassy she is (and stinky).
Skin to skin right after our little miss was born.
Meeting Miriam for the firs time.
Meeting Miriam for the first time.
Holding her after she got wiped up a bit.
Dad holding his daughter. (My heart could explode!)
Auntie Brooklyn holding her niece for the first time.
Little Miri
Life is good, my friends. So, so good.
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