"Irrespective of age, we mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. It is a natural response in complete accord with the divine commandment: 'Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die' (D&C 42:45).
Moreover, we can't fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life."
-Russel M. Nelson, Doors of Death
It has been a good, but emotionally draining week.
Kevin and I got a call Friday afternoon from a family member in Utah letting us know that Kevin's grandpa, Vic Nielsen, had a massive stroke and wasn't going to make it.
Kevin and I made the decision to come out to Utah to be there, here, when they took Grandpa off life support, and to stay until after his funeral. Thanks to a very generous family member, we were able to get on a plane Saturday afternoon.
Saturday night and Sunday morning were spent at the hospital waiting for all the Nielsen children to arrive, along with their spouses, and grandchildren.
I have lost family members and children, but this was something I had never experienced before.
For starters, this will be the first funeral I have ever attended where I am old enough to be aware of what's going on. The last funeral I went to was for my great grandpa and I was maybe five years old?
I have also never watched anyone die. Honestly, I was scared. I was scared of watching him die, and I was really scared of being so close to death, but I have never seen anything as beautiful and tender as his passing.
Even though we were all sad, the tone in Grandpa's hospital room was peaceful and uplifting. We all laughed, hugged, told stories, and talked about Grandpa's life and what sort of man he was. Everyone took turns holding Grandpa's hand or gently brushing his forehead while they cried. I put one of Grandpa's hands on my stomach so he could feel his 10th great grandchild move. His wife, Grandma Marlene, put his favorite tie around his neck, and their sons, sons-in-law, and all the other men in the room who hold the Priesthood, gave him a beautiful blessing. Those who wanted to, wept as they said their goodbyes aloud.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck that which is planted;"
One of Grandpa's sons, Uncle Jared, wrote this describing the time between Grandpa being taken off life support and his passing:
"The deep sleep begins in a morphine dream as the sterile steel and sanitized plastics are removed, leaving only the man. He is tired and amid halting breaths heaves an occasional sigh as the soul untangles, ever so gently, from the survivor corporeal form. The noble man-soul, appealing to depart negotiates with his own instinctual form who clings to survive, to breathe, to pulse. I see a brave man who knows that his time has come but still has to engage in the final negotiation in his own melded form to assuage his own intrinsic need to live. Surrounded by those that dream for him to suddenly shudder awake, but gently urge him to move, to go, to shed this mortal coil, he slowly makes the choice, and as his Savior before him, he sleeps. God rest you noble man and take your rest."
Victor Nielsen, 1939-2014
Grandpa Nielsen passed around 3:24pm Sunday afternoon surrounded by those he loved, and who loved him. It couldn't have been more beautiful.
Because of our Savior, Jesus Christ, I know death is not the end. I take comfort in knowing we will all be together again. In the meantime, I imagine Grandpa is with our daughter, Sarai, and that they're having a great time getting to know each other. When we see them again, both will be whole, and it will be a glorious reunion.
Rest in peace, Grandpa Nielsen. Grandma is being well cared for, and we have the dishes covered. We love you.
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How far along: 37 weeks and 2 days. Only 19 days to go!
Maternity clothes: Some.
Sleep: Love it.
Movement: It feels like I'm carrying a yoga master.
Cravings: Getting this baby out (but only after September 10th since we're still in Utah).
Symptoms: Really tired again and peeing all the time.
Belly button in or out: Half and half.
Ring on or off: On.
Signs of labor: Nope.
Worst moment of the week: Hearing about Grandpa.
Best moment of the week: Being with the family.
What I'm looking forward to: Spending the next eight days with the family before heading home.
Victories of the week: I got in a little over 25 miles of hiking over the past week. That felt good. Haven't peed my pants. Still tying my own shoes, etc.
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Size of baby: Our little miss could be 19.1 inches long from head to heel, and weigh as much as 6.5lbs. She is roughly the size as a bunch of Swiss chard this week (which seems a lot easier to push out than a coconut).
Our Swiss baby.
Milestones: Our baby is now considered full-term and can be born any day now. She will continue to gain weight at about half an ounce a day. She is ready to make her entrance into this world.
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Love y'all.
Over n' out.
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