Hello 3rd Trimester!

"There are far, far better things ahead 

than anything we leave behind." 

                                                                                                                C.S. Lewis

This week everyone in the house got a nasty stomach bug so Sunday-Friday was filled with lots of puking, pooping, fevers, and fatigue. We don't know what it was exactly, but it spread like wildfire and we all hope it's gone for good. 

Saturday I went with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law to set up a couple registries for my upcoming baby shower. It was fun, but also very overwhelming. I'm glad my mother-in-law was with me or I would have been lost-- babies need a lot of weird things I never would have thought of. 

On the bright side, a date has been set for my baby shower! The last baby shower I can remember attending in person was Little Bear's mom's back in 2009. Since then, baby showers have been a bit too difficult for me to go to. Helping my mother-in-law and ladies from the ward (church thing) plan a baby shower for me has been an emotional ride. 

I have waited for and wanted a baby shower for a long time and now that it's happening, I find myself breaking into tears over it at random or getting anxious and wanting to cancel the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more thrilled, but it's odd too. 

Having a baby shower makes the whole "I'm having a baby" business feel a lot more real; plus, it's my baby shower and that part doesn't feel real yet. 

Kevin and I almost have a living baby and this baby shower feels like the final milestone before her birth. I keep thinking, "Now it really feels like this is actually going to happen," and every time I think that something else happens that makes me feel that all over again. I bet I'll experience the same thing even after Baby J is here. 

How far along: 27 weeks! I am officially starting the third trimester!

Maternity clothes: I have some, but I don't fit in them yet. I can only fit into one of my pencil skirts now and that's with a lovely muffin top. Yoga pants and stretchy skirts it is!

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Sleep: I'm really good at sleeping, but I wake up on my back a lot which freaks me out.

Movement: Baby J was a crazy wiggle worm this week! While I was sick it was awful because her making my stomach physically jump around was not helping with my nausea, but now that I'm well again I'm enjoying it.

Cravings: Fresh pears. Mmmmm.

Symptoms: I'm growing and possibly nesting? I want to clean and organize everything, but I also like doing that just for fun while I'm not pregnant so that could just be me being me. 

Belly button in or out? In.

Signs of labor: Zero. 

Best moment of the week: Being in bed with Kevin while he played his guitar and we sang to Baby J. Oh, also when she names herself  "Turd Bucket." Kevin had his head on my stomach and was asking Baby J who was in there (name wise) and told her to kick him when we got the name right. He went through our list of names and she made zero movement so I asked, "Is your name Turd Bucket?" and she kicked, haha. We're not naming her that. She also can't have cookies for dinner. 

Size of Baby: Apparently Baby J is the size of a cauliflower today; a cauliflower that is 14.4 inches long and weighs 2 pounds. 

Baby J, the cauliflower

Milestones: Baby J now resembles what she will look like at birth, only she is smaller and skinnier. Her hearing is now mature enough that she should be able to recognize mine and Kevin's voices. Her retinas are developing more fully and she should be able to detect changes in light so if we shine a flashlight on my belly, she may move to or away from the light. 

Sleep: I still haven't figured out her sleep schedule yet, but I know she doesn't sleep in the morning. 

Well, here are a few more videos taken earlier this week for you to enjoy. 

And here is my first third trimester bump photo:

27 weeks

And that's all folks. 

Over n' out.

25+4

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will chance. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

I forgot to post on Sunday so tonight will have to do.

I finally found a food that will make our bean move for me, but it only works before I eat it. If I put a cup of cold yogurt on my stomach, our little girl tries frantically to get it off. Using this tactic, I was actually able to show people other than Kevin her moves.
When I BIL felt her kick he said, "Weird. I have never felt a baby before. . . I mean, I have felt a baby in real life, but not one that is still inside someone since I'm not the type of person to randomly touch pregnant women I don't know," haha.

How far along: 25+4 weeks

Maternity clothes: I got some really cute maternity clothes from a lady who lives in the neighborhood, but I don't fit into them yet so I'm stuck in this too big for my clothes, but too small for maternity clothes phase which is rather frustrating.

Wedding ring on or off: On

Sleep: I have had a few rough nights recently due to tossing and turning, being too hot, or having a stuffed nose. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often and I still get plenty of sleep.

Movement: She's back to moving a lot again, thankfully. A couple days ago I got the biggest kick ever. It hurt and pushed my stomach out quite far. I wish I caught it on camera, but it took me by surprise.

Cravings: Nope.

Symptoms: Heartburn and it's hard to breathe when I'm sitting and reading aloud. 

Belly button in or out: In, but it seems bigger/more stretched out.

Sign of labor: zero, zip, nada.

Best moment of the week: That would be putting yogurt on my stomach today and watching the little lady try to knock it off. 

Size of baby: A zucchini! Roughly 1.5lbs and 13.6 inches in length. 

Hello, Baby Dolan!

Milestones: She's starting to put on fat. Her spine is beginning to form its structures as the blood vessels of the lungs start developing. Some small blood vessels are starting to form under her skin and when these fill will blood, our daughter's skin will take on a pink appearance. Oh, she also has fully formed fingerprints, her bones are continuing to harden, and her nostrils are starting to open!

Sleep: I haven't noticed a routine yet, but she seems to like to wake up when I wake up and consistently moves throughout the day. 

Favorite Foods: Nothing that I eat, but cold yogurt on my belly works wonders :) 

I woke up feeling smaller than I have since about week 22 and took some bump photos. Just a warning for those who don't like shirtless photos, I also thought I would try on the swimsuit I bought last year to see if it still fit so my bump is bare and I'm in a bikini top.

 Side view at 24+5 weeks pregnant

 Front view at 24+5 weeks pregnant. 

My upper bumps have grown faster than my baby bump, and more than I expected them to, so I doubt this top will fit much longer which is quite sad. I really love this swimsuit and was looking forward to spending the summer in it.

I also have some videos to share! They don't show her really big movements, but it's the best I've been able to capture on video so far and I'm happy with it.

and

Well, that's all I have for now. 

Over n' out. 

Viability Day!

Today marks the start of my sixth month of pregnancy and the glorious viability day! This means that if our baby was born premature at this point, she would have a higher chance of surviving outside my uterus and doctors would do all that they could to save her. Of course, survival largely depends on fetal organ maturity which varies from baby to baby and at 24 weeks the chances of survival aren't great, but 24 weeks is still the current viability day milestone. Happy Viability Day to me!

I have had several nightmares where I'm given medicine to help with insignificant health issues only to read the bottle afterwards and discover that I'm taking Cytotec (which I was given to induce labor with Sarai), which puts my in labor, and the doctors aren't able to do anything because I'm not 24 weeks yet. I have also woken up a couple times convinced that she died during the night and I didn't get out of bed until I felt her move. I know this date doesn't guarantee everything will go smoothly and that nothing bad will happen from this point on, but it brings me a lot more peace. Today, I feel like this baby is really going to happen.

"And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at [her] birth." Luke 1:14

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

Me:
How far along: 24 weeks (6 months)!
Maternity clothes: I don't have any, but I need some (see belly shirt below).
Wedding ring on or off: On
Sleep: I'm sleeping a lot and it feels great.
Movement: She's not moving as much as she was (growth spurt?), but her movements are a lot stronger <3
Cravings: Not really.
Symptoms: Fatigue, hair is falling out, linea nigra, back pain, angry heartburn.
Belly button in or out: In.
Signs of labor: Nope.
Best moment of the week: going to the temple on Tuesday.

Baby:
Size: Joanna now weighs about 1.3 lbs and is almost a foot long! She is the size of a grapefruit or an ear of corn (length wise).

So, this big? 

and this long?

 Milestones: Viability Day! Her lungs are beginning to produce surfactant which is a substance that keeps the air sacs in the lungs from collapsing and is essential for proper breathing once baby is born. Joanna's face and body are filling out and she is looking more and more like how she will look after birth. Her muscles are growing, and her bones and organs are continuing to develop.

Sleep: She is sleeping a lot more throughout the day. I think she's going through a growth spurt, but that's just my guess.

Favorite foods: Nothing. She doesn't seem to like or dislike anything I eat.

I think it's safe to say I now have a proper bump and that I'm in the "clearly pregnant" zone. And now for the proof that I have popped:

24 weeks front view in black dress that won't fit for much longer.

24 weeks side view in black dress that won't fit for much longer.

Hair up to see the bump better. 

24 weeks and my pj shirt is now a belly shirt.

Me being terrified at how small my shirt/big my belly is.

It has taken a long time to get to this point and there has been a lot of heartache along the way, but now that I'm finally here the joy is overwhelming and the words of Alma, once again, come to mind:

"Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as... my joy." Alma 36:21

Life is good. Over and out.

22 Weeks

Me:

How far along: 22 weeks

Maternity clothes: Not yet, but I tried on my jeans yesterday and if I want to be comfortable in pants (other than sweats or yoga pants) I'm going to need maternity jeans very soon or start using that rubber band trick.

Wedding ring on or off: Still on.

Sleep: I'm still sleeping great.

Movement: Yup <3
Cravings: Nothing new.

 Heartburn: I must have jinxed myself because now I am getting it all the time.

Morning Sickness: Nope.
Symptoms: My hair is falling out, I have a light linea nigra below my belly button, and I'm always tired.
Belly button in or out: In.
Sings of Labor: Nope.
Best moment of the week: Listening to Kevin talk about being a dad and watching our little lady dance around.

Baby:
Size: Joanna weighs roughly 12.25 ounces and measures about 10.9 inches in length. She is the size of a papaya.
Milestones: Joanna's taste buds have started to form on her tongue and her brain and nerve endings are developed enough to where she can have a sense of touch. She may begin testing her sense of touch by touching her face or sucking her thumb (which we saw her try to do at our anatomy scan). Her uterus and ovaries are now in place too.
Sleep: She still has no distinct sleeping patterns.
Favorite foods: She kicked up a storm after eating a cookie, but I was also really hungry so I don't know if it was the cookie or the fact that I was finally able to eat something.

                            

They're not the best quality, but here I am at 22 weeks pregnant. Side and front view plus a very dirty mirror. I'm popping a lot more now (especially after a meal) and I expect to see a lot of growth in the next week or so.

 

21 Weeks

Me:

How far along: 21 weeks!

Maternity clothes: Nope, not yet.

Wedding ring on or off: On.

Sleep: I sleep great. I get 7-10 hours a night, plus long naps during the day.

Stretch marks: None yet.

Movement: All the time and I love it.

Cravings: So far my main craving has been meat, specifically ribs. I also like watermelon with fresh lime or lemon juice poured over it (the lime/lemon juice is a must).

Heartburn: I get it randomly and I never get it from the same thing twice.

Morning sickness: None.

Symptoms: My skin is terribly dry, my hair is falling out, and I think I’m starting to get a linea nigra, but only below my belly button.

Belly button in or out: In.

Labor signs: None, thank God.

Best moment of the week: Going to the anatomy scan and seeing a healthy baby.

Baby:

Size: Joanna weighs about twelve ounces and is roughly 8-10 ½ inches long (the size of a carrot or large banana).

Milestones: Joanna’s eyebrows and eyelids are now fully formed. She is practicing swallowing and her blood circulation is fully functional.

Sleep: She seems to take little naps in the middle of the day, but she moves all the time in the morning, evening, and throughout the night.  

Favorite foods: She doesn't seem to like or dislike anything.

21 week bump

Mother's Day

I have had an intense love/hate relationship with Mother’s Day over the past five years. While I have been grateful for the wonderful motherly figures in my life, I have ached with the desire to be a mother myself.

In the past five years, I have gained two baby boxes which now sit on a shelf together filled with memories. I have gone through labor and delivery twice, but that is the extent of my motherhood experience thus far.

“And all they who have mourned shall be comforted.” D&C 101:14

This year will be the first year I cry happy tears along with the sad. This year, while remembering my losses, my husband and I will also be lucky enough to celebrate the new life, and new opportunity, we have been given. We have experienced a lot of pain and sadness the past four years over children, but we have also been blessed with peace and comfort to carry us through, and we are just as grateful for those tender mercies as we are for this child.

“Sing unto the Lord; for he hath done excellent things.” Isaiah 12:5

Even though I have joy this Mother’s Day, there are many women, women I know and many more I don’t, who still dread this holiday. Sister Patricia Holland once said, “I believe mother is one of those very carefully chosen words, one of those rich words—with meaning after meaning after meaning. We must not, at all costs, let that word divide us. I believe with all my heart that it is first and foremost a statement about our nature, not a head count of our children."

Of course, there are more reasons than one to mourn on Mother's Day. Whatever the reason for someone's pain this day, my heart goes out to them. 

If you are one who suffers on this day, I hope you find peace, comfort, and happiness sooner than later and that you, too, will feel joy on this day.

Anatomy Scan

Kevin and I went the anatomy scan today and everything is looking great! According to the tech, I have twelve ounces of a healthy baby inside me. There was a shadow in part of the heart, but the doctor told me it happens all the time and it's nothing to be concerned about. Plus, I get another ultrasound in four weeks because of it so I can't complain about that :)

Profile

She was kicking the whole time we were trying to get photos of her feet. The tech told us she was really fast. It was fun watching her feet go crazy while feeling her kicks.  

Obligatory alien view of baby's face. Look at those tiny fingers! Her hands were my favorite part. I wish we got photos of those. She tried sucking her thumb several times during the ultrasound which was also a lot of fun to watch. 

We already knew we were having a girl because of the MaterniT21 test, but it was nice to get it confirmed via ultrasound. I think we might actually be comfortable buying things now. 

And there you have it. Life is good.

Over and out.