30 down and counting

"Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: 

he that believeth in me, though he were dead, 

yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth 

and believeth in me shall never die. 

Believest thou this?" 

                                                                                 John 11:25-26

75% complete. 70 days to go. 30 weeks done. 10 weeks left. But who's counting? Mr. P really wants me to go past my due date and deliver on June 6th so we can have a D-Day baby, but I'm hoping to walk him out a little early so he's born in late May instead. I'm due so close to May that I feel like once April hits I'll be able to say "next month is my month" anyway, but I'm worried that will jinx me. "Oh, you think next month is your month? Nope. You're going to be pregnant forever." If I think about it for too long sometimes I start missing being pregnant already and looking forward to my next pregnancy. Sometimes I'm quite irrational. I have to remind myself that when I chop carrots, I need to chop carrots. 

I'm excited to be in labor. I hope I go into labor on my own this time and it happens during the day. I know, so picky. If I need to be induced or have a c-section in the end that's fine. I'm really okay with that, but I would love to have at least one low-risk, complication free experience with labor and delivery. This pregnancy has been boring in all the right ways and it's hard not to hope that will continue through the end.
Ideally I'd like labor to start on its own when it's still pleasant outside so I can take a nice walk around the park we live next to. That means the weather will also have to be nice. It also means I won't be able to tell Mr. P I'm in labor because he'll want to rush me to the hospital right away when we're going to have time (we talked about this not too long ago, hah).

I've had terrible luck finding decent maternity clothes that I actually like, but I recently purchased a couple dresses online and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have to return them. Once I get some nice maternity clothes, and the weather gets its act together and stays warm, I'll post some bump pictures that are actually cute. None of you probably care about that. It's more for me.

 I'm looking forward to Easter. Mr. P and I don't have any plans, but it's Easter and it's the first Easter that Miss M is more of a tiny human of her own than a baby. It's been fun teaching her and watching her learn. She understands so much more than I expected her to at this age. It's rather frightening and at times I feel wholly inadequate.
I worry about that a lot. I want to do everything perfectly with Miss M to help her become the best that she can be, but that leaves me feeling overwhelmed and like I've already failed too often. I'm grateful for this time of year and for the gentle reminders I've received that the effort I'm putting in now is enough and perfection is not required, nor is it expected.

I'm still working on who I am and who I want to be as an individual and a mother and I think that adds to my anxieties. I'm working on my things and trying to better myself while trying to do all that for another tiny, sweet, innocent person at the same time. I'm still figuring things out, but she's dependent on me now. She can't wait for me to teach her until I know for myself so I pray and cry a lot, lol, and hope for the best. So far Miss M seems to be turning out alright.

How far along: 30 weeks!

Sleep: I still get plenty of sleep most of the time. I think Miss M has been cutting more teeth because she's been waking up between 3:00 and 4:00am the past week. Now she's sick so I'm assuming that will continue for a few more days. Fortunately she goes right back down, but not until after I go in and give her some cuddles or milk. Could be worse.

Movement: A lot of times this is what reminds me I'm pregnant. As silly as it sounds, I forget a lot. I'll be lying on my side when suddenly BAM! Power kick to my side. Maybe he forgets from time to time that he's a baby and floating in a uterus. Whenever he remembers he panics and starts punching and kicking thinking "Let me out!" Sometimes it tickles, sometimes it hurts. I like it whenever he says hi though.

Cravings: I'm currently eating meatballs dipped in ketchup. They kind of taste like mini hamburgers. The only thing that would make them taste better would be if I could melt some Craft American cheese on top. Yum.

Symptoms: Getting bigger. Maybe more emotional and or irrational? I don't know how much of that is due to pregnancy though. That could just be me. I feel like I waddle when I really need to pee. Maybe I do that while not pregnant too, but I'm much more aware of it now because the probability of me wetting my pants is greater.

Belly button: Innie. Some day I will get lucky and have a cute belly button that pokes out at the end.

Wedding ring: On.

Worst moment of the week: Miss M is sick again :(

Best moment of the week: Late night conversations with Mr. P and family night at the pool.

Things I'm looking forward to: My next appointment is tomorrow and we get another ultrasound. Woo! I'm excited to see our son's cute profile and little toes again.

Size of baby: James is about the size of a large cabbage (15-16 inches long, ~3lbs).

Cute.

Pretty weird.

Milestones: James' eyes are mature enough that he can follow a light source. When he's born his vision will be 20/400. His brain is still developing at a rapid pace. He's getting longer and fatter and quickly running out of room in there.

The Bump:

^Hiding in my winter coat

^Hello, Baby!

I hope all y'all have a wonderful Easter weekend.
Over n' out.